About

In my early twenties I moved to Galway, Ireland, and took a masters degree in community development. I began my professional career supporting the empowerment of local communities, soon realising that community empowerment was impossible without the individuals of those communities being personally empowered in their own lives and relationships. 

Realising that life is all about relationships, I designed an assertiveness course. I loved seeing how people’s lives transformed when they learned how to listen to themselves and say “no” and “yes” clearly and kindly. Many reported being newly empowered to speak up and handle difficult conversations at work, communicate better with their partner and set healthy boundaries with their children and other family members, feeling freer to be themselves, happier and more at peace. 

And the personal challenges I faced in my own relationships led me to seek out training that would equip me to navigate them with more skill and kindness, and to support others to do the same – including Jan Day’s 18-month Living Tantra training, Voice Dialogue training with Transforming Dialogue, A Year of Polyvagal with Deb Dana and Irene Lyon’s Nervous System Health Program Smart Body Smart Mind.

The huge shifts I’ve experienced in difficult relationship patterns means my life is now much happier, healthier and more fulfilling than I ever thought possible. The biggest of all my relationship challenges was by far being chronically single for most of my twenties, thirties and early forties, whilst wanting more than anything to be in a loving, secure, committed relationship.

I had a handful of relationships that lasted a few months, but I was mostly single, with the same painful patterns repeating. Being attracted to unavailable men. Men who didn’t want to commit to a relationship (who soon after did commit to another woman). Getting attached to men who showed huge interest at first but later became avoidant – all whilst not being attracted to the men who liked me and were available.

It was an exhausting cycle – meeting someone I liked, investing my time and emotional energy – and over and over again facing deep disappointment that left me feeling hopeless. I was happy in many ways – I had deep friendships, fulfilling work and a creative life – but I felt deep loneliness and sadness as year after year I watched friends getting into into relationships, move in together and get married, whilst I stayed single.

I often wondered: “What’s wrong with me?”, until after an earth-shattering heartbreak, I began asking: “Why is this happening?”. I committed to understanding why – and to learn whatever I needed to learn to finally end my ongoing heartbreak and fulfil my dream of being in a loving, committed relationship.

And I did come to understand why – and did learn what I needed to learn. I underwent deep personal transformation that led to the start of a beautiful relationship with a kind, loving, and fully available man, who became my beloved husband at the age of 47.

I’m based in Hove, East Sussex, where I share a happy home with my husband and nine-year-old step-son.