About Nicola

About Nicola

Relationships coach and Trainer/facilitator

I’m a relationships coach, trainer and facilitator of 20 years experience. I’m deeply commited to living what I teach, and to bringing my ongoing learning and life experience to my work.

I’ve experienced many of the relationship challenges my clients face and have healed dysfunctional relationship patterns that I had, at times, believed would never change. This enables me to offer solid support and guidance from a place of deep understanding, for my clients to move toward experiencing the relationships they dream of.

As a child growing up in Wales, I had a keen, buzzing curiosity for understanding myself, others and life, as well as I possibly could. So much of the world and ways that people related didn’t make sense. I didn’t understand why people were so unhappy and fought so much, and why there were so many rules – both spoken and unspoken – that people were expected to follow that meant we couldn’t be our honest, authentic selves.

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I questioned and challenged the idea that it was “just how life is” and chose to explore and express who I felt I was, rather than accepting others’ ideas of who I was told I should be. I looked for ways to connect more deeply with myself and others, and delighted in discovering my own unique ways of being in the world.

In my early twenties I moved to Galway, Ireland, and took a masters degree in community development. I began my professional career supporting the empowerment of local communities, soon realising that community empowerment was impossible without the individuals of those communities becoming personally empowered in their own lives and relationships.

Realising that life is all about relationships, I began offering an assertiveness course. I loved seeing how people’s lives transformed when they learned how to listen to themselves and say “no” and “yes” clearly and kindly. Many reported being newly empowered to speak up and handle difficult conversations at work, communicate better with their partner and set healthy boundaries with their children and other family members, feeling freer to be themselves, happier and more at peace.

And the personal challenges I faced in my own relationships led me to seek out training that would equip me to navigate them with more skill and kindness, and to support others to do the same. This includes training with Jan Day, Voice Dialogue training with Transforming Dialogue, A Year of Polyvagal with Deb Dana and Irene Lyon’s Nervous System Health Program Smart Body Smart Mind.

The huge shifts I’ve experienced in difficult relationship patterns means my life is now much happier, healthier and more fulfilling than I ever thought possible. I’ve learned and discovered a great deal since my early thirties, that, if I’d been taught at school, would’ve made life so much simpler, happier and more peaceful. I have a huge passion for sharing with others what I find most helpful, and a deep wish for us all to experience what we most long for in our relationships with ourselves, with others and with life.

I’m based in Hove, East Sussex.